I got an interesting e-mail today. A drama teacher who produced my plays Twinderella and Wooing Wed Widing Hood last year is currently rehearsing A Hairy Tale. Obviously she likes my plays, but she felt the ending of A Hairy Tale needed some work. Many of the characters were left off stage, and she especially wanted to hear more from the bratty prince and obnoxious princess, who are left exiled at the top of the tower. Could I write a new ending, she asked.
I do like having as many characters on stage as possible at the end of my plays. Often you'll see me sneaking people on with stage directions during the final scene. In the case of A Hairy Tale (and Twinderella) there is a perfect excuse to bring everyone back on stage: a fairy tale wedding. Any character can be a guest at a wedding, so it's a perfect way to get everyone on stage for the grand finale. You can even use wedding music to cover the entrances. In the case of A Hairy Tale, I suggested bringing Lou the UPS Guy on stage with an armload of presents, bringing the paparazzi on stage to take pictures, and bringing back those two whacky narrators to serve as the officiants at the ceremony. Everyone else could be a guest.
All that still left the problem of the prince and princess. I like the fact that they are not reformed during the play. I think there's something real about making them stay in that tower until they understand the meaning of true love, and the way they've been acting, you know that's not going to happen anytime soon. Still, I also understand this director's desire to incorporate them into the final scene, so I suggested this bit of dialogue to replace the final line of the play:
Prince Rupert
Hey, I've heard that weddings are great places to find true love.
Princess Iphegenia
And wedding receptions are even better!
Prince Rupert
If you would hurry up and grow out your hair, I could get down from here.
Princess Iphegenia
Well if you would grow out your hair, I could get down from here.
(They begin to pull one another's hair)
I now pronounce you extremely bratty.
Prince Rupert
Well I now pronounce you equally obnoxious.
Narrators
We now pronounce you husbands and wives.
Queen
(as couples embrace, she indicates her quarreling children)
It looks like almost everyone will live . . .
All (except Rupert and Iphegenia)
Happily ever after!
I've ask the teacher to let me know if she uses this new dialogue, and if she does, I'll let you know how it works for her. As for all you other directors out there—some playwrights think their words are sacrosanct and cannot be changed or added to for any reason. I'm not one of those playwrights. I love seeing productions where actors and directors have added new jokes, especially ones that might only be understood in a particular school or community. After all, playwrighting is just the beginning of a colaborative process. I even wrote a few new lines for our recent production of Twinderella, but that's a topic for another time.
Until then, thanks for reading.
